this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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