it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
