Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
