i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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