He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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