On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
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