i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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