Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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