I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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