You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize