Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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