no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
