haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
