She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize