My friends, they love my intelligence
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize