Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
