K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
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