What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
