I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
