maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
