Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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