their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
