Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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