So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
