you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
