i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
are you so shy because you have an std?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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