i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Randomize
