I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
