I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
