the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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