Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize