I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
