I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
