3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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