If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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