I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
cat food counts as protein by the way
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
