Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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