I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
