Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Randomize
