all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
