um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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