i would punch a child for taco bell
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
