You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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