I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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