And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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