I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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