but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
