the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
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She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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