after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
