I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
