fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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