I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
