Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
