3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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