Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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